My darling husband of 14 years recently told me I was “just ugly enough.” Now, before you jump in to defend my honor, I have to tell you the context of our conversation.
We were having dinner for our anniversary (14th, which you’d know if you were paying attention during the previous paragraph) and we got to talking about relationships we were in before we met each other. I had exactly three relationships and none of them were hot and heavy. He said he also had three, but I don’t believe him. Anyway, if he’s lying to spare my feelings I guess I’m okay with that.
So I asked him if his other girlfriends were A, prettier than me; B, less pretty than me; or C, equally pretty as me. I said it just like that, like it was a question on the SATs or something. We were having fun. And then all of a sudden he hits me with the line, the title of this post.
What??!!! I almost spit margarita out of my nose when he said it. I didn’t know whether I should laugh, cry, or cry very hard. He quickly put me at ease, though, when he told me the following story.
He — let’s call him Ben because that’s his name — Ben went to college in the northeast and he remembers “Christie” (not her real name) from his Biology class. He said whenever he caught a glimpse of her he couldn’t catch his breath. She was that pretty! Not only that, he tried approaching her and couldn’t speak (not just stammered and hemmed and hawed, but he could not talk). Ben says he stood there for a full ten seconds gasping for air and she called for a medic. I thought that was weird, that she said, “Is there a medic here?” but that’s what she did.
So to cut a long story short, Ben never had a relationship with Christie because she was too pretty. And I, apparently, am just ugly enough. I don’t know why Ben couldn’t have said I was just “pretty enough,” but he chose to say it in the negative. I guess it makes for a better blog title and I ended up with the man of my dreams. Win-win? Tell me your thoughts in the comments!